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Reflection on Monday April 20

Ego leads to mean the last word, and so will never end!!
There is something much more important in everyone and goes beyond the earthly dimension, with the abuse of power, conflict and self assertion through arrogance or the last word.
must necessarily come to feel pain to understand how important it is love?
necessarily have to get to the bottom to understand that we are others, that the other is us, when we hurt someone and that caused us, in truth, the wound?

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For a person

Faced with what is happening to me now my psycho-emotional problems have virtually no relevance ...
I earnestly ask the real importance of the world that gives life.
At the end you know what I say? the people you leave, you spring, quarrels, lose your job, do not talk ... and most people are too busy to do everything rather than thinking about life, to love each other, to love those nearby. Unfortunately there are few situations that allow you to understand that life is much more than "a boyfriend left me" or "I took the examination 18" ... Well ... What I would like to find tomorrow's easter egg? Marco does not, nor a degree, or a job or a house, but the child who has lost my mother ... I want to be that small 3cm in which the heart has stopped beating back there, to grow and be born a few months.
Well, I've always lived my countless adventures (boyfriend, friends, it seems absurd mental, illness ...) as insoromontabili things and situations and from which there was no way out, and instead the only reality that has way out is death.
A person to whom I love now there beside me, but I know he is alive and this is enough for me, I'm quite ill physically, but I do not have cancer or terminal illnesses and this should make me feel good ... and in fact I'm fine.
It 's the people who complain about every little bullshit and is not able to look at solutions for what they are ... are people who want to pretend to look for solutions greater than themselves, and not content with what he has ...
well, I would be happy just to be alone, without that person, without a degree, maybe bald, ugly and stupid, but with a brother / sister ... and instead each castle that everyone had built fell in about 3 seconds.
And the agony more terrible is to see their mother crying over the death of an unborn child, not yet given birth, without a name, date, sex, a character ...
Those few moments are enough to disappoint expectations, ideas, thoughts, dreams, ambitions ... are sick enough to make an entire family who can not handle a situation bigger than it looks: a death!

There is a reason why I wrote this ... my mom is sitting in bed crying and eating snacks, my dad works 25 hours a day, stopping only because it would reflect too much on what happened, and I can not express all that much except that in writing. Once I felt more free to express especially in the company of anyone in particular, but now that someone is gone I have to adapt accordingly.

I just want to tell anybody that does not have to spend your life caring about crap ...
... because if one day the person you so loved and hated, the person with whom you have fought so much, that you sent to hell there will be more definitively, it would sell arms and legs only to see five minutes into the distance and realize that all those problems you mentioned with the word "shit" are a front for anything else ...

How much time wasted on arguing rather than to live ... and I had / have the opportunity to live, I wonder why someone like the little brother that I had, this has been denied ...

He existed in the lives of all of us for about 10 days ... also had his Easter egg, his signature on the greeting card for Grandpa Bruno and a brand new pair of shoes that had taken Aunt Lella, as well as a beautiful embroidery that I was doing cross-stitch ... and now with him there is a small medical record, whose name is "abortion procedure 10 +6" ...

I want to tell you not to leave anything open, to talk, to communicate and to love, because as long as there is love, love is everything: my mom and I do not put up with, but who 's accompanied her to the hospital? IO.
I hope to prevent others from doing what I did: to live by giving importance to read subtleties, rather than to real feelings ... and here I refer in particular to a situation.

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cyclicality

Underneath things repeat themselves, there is in my life, so cyclicality in the world as a whole which, though known, there, constantly amazes me.
this is cyclical, which is expressed often in the reports, sentimental, emotional, family ... is a succession of situations, more or less real, more or less contradictory and more or less misunderstanding, which come and go like the thoughts of those who make them.
And finally, after creating these situations, good or bad that had to be born, because we, temperamentally and emotionally, to give birth, we are left holding a handful of nothing ... a handful of memories ...
A handful of pleasant memories, sad, about to smile, which means "again ...", again why we hope to understand cyclical event happened before.

Teine Just my friend (he knows who he is:-D) cycle lives: their cycles usually last 2 years and every two years he falls into the abyss of depression and utter, from which it rises again within a maximum of 3 months.
And now what about him? tells me that I have to believe in what I do, I believe this!
tells me that I work for myself but keeping one end, now I consider impossible, basically, I work on myself, but the purpose has gone to hell ...
tells me that I really have a life sucker, sucker I do not have a life, am I to feel alive, it is sad to say, at this point in life I need to suffer. And suffer
does not do anything, except that to grow (the words of Marco foiba). In fact, he wishes me well, but some bad, that I can understand, in time, what, how, when and why did wrong ... that I may, as he says, to recover what is still recoverable, even in extremis, perhaps with a patch ...

Tomorrow I'll know if I have a brother or sister, it excites me, very much.

Now there is nothing but wait ... What I do not know, maybe a train of desires, perhaps a caravan (?), maybe a blue fairy, a witch ... waiting, and waiting, and hoping to avoid creating further misunderstanding, act in good faith.
I
life crammed with misunderstandings, things unspoken, thoughts and reflections kept spoken to me ... if I had spoken with the proper authorities in time Now look at all the family, the mother's pregnancy and yet the cyclical maleddeta with more conviction and awareness.
And ok, ...