There is no way that I can live peacefully and safely for more than 24 hours. There is no way
I can enclose Paturnie in a drawer and throw away the key. Especially if you then become reality.
I became obsessed with his ex. There is no way to change the tables, the more I think no more obligation to someone else that makes you only leave space to my insecurity and low strength of my relationship with Him
And the more I try to put everything aside, the more I discover that he has never been fully honest with me. The more I try themselves that are just my paranoia, more join the pieces and find that, instead, is the truth. How do you regain confidence in a person who loves it when you find that it is not the same person who believed us? How do you believe in a relationship that I'm dragging unnecessarily?
And my tears in front of him, instead of reassuring me and hold me, tells me that I probably should finish it here, if I do not trust that it is useless to stay together, we might as well leave now rather than in a year. Probably, for him, the easiest thing to do. For me the hardest.
Again we have an opposite point of view.
And I'm still at a point without knowing which side is really Christina, nor which way is better go.
Which is the lesser evil? What is the right thing to do?
Being able to separate head and heart would be wonderful. I wonder if I would ever be able, alas.
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